reileen: (Default)
I'm sitting here, folding laundry, and I'm thinking to myself: "Man, I need more house dresses."



... Prairie Muffin housewife.


A particularly apt quote I found about translating, clumsily slightly edited to be equally scathing of both genders: "Translations are like spouses; the faithful ones are rarely good-looking and the good-looking ones are rarely faithful!"

Seriously, guys. Translation is hard.


Four Professors of Literature see a gathering of Ladies of Easy Virtue and wonder aloud what the correct collective name would be.

"What's this?" said the first. "A flourish of strumpets?"

"Nay," said the second, "an essay of Trollope's."

"Rather, a jam of tarts," said the third.

"No, gentleman," concluded the last. "This is an anthology of pros."

heavy thoughts tonight, and they aren't snow white
reileen: (Default)
I literally dreamt up possibly one of the most painful snacks ever.

Cactus thorn Pocky.

See, it's just like regular Pocky in that it's a biscuit stick dipped in some sort of sweet cream, only it's also got tiny little cactus thorns sticking out of the cream. Sort of like crushed nuts, except, um, not as tasty.

The funny thing is that I bet there's a market for exactly this type of snack...

blacken my eye, set fire to my tie as we dance to the Masochism Tango
reileen: (Default)
I was reading through back-entries in the archives of Slacktivist's dissection of the Left Behind series, and found this list of permutations on the Number of the Beast to be amusing:

0.666 Number of the Millibeast
0.00150150... Reciprocal of the Beast
25.8069758... Square Root of the Beast
443556 Square of the Beast
1010011010 Binary Number of the Beast
1232 Octal of the Beast
29A Hexidecimal of the Beast

$666/hr Billing Rate of the Beast's Lawyer
$665.95 Retail Price of the Beast
$699.25 Price of the Beast plus 5% State Sales Tax
$769.95 Price of the Beast with accessories and replacement soul
$656.66 Wal-Mart Price of the Beast
$646.66 Next week's Wal-Mart Price of the Beast
$55.50 Monthly Payments for Beast, in 12 easy installments...

668 Neighbor of the Beast
666 F - Oven temperature for roast Beast
666 grams - The molar mass of the Beast.
6.66x10^23 - Avagadro's Number of the Beast
1.0106x10^1593 - Factorial of the Beast
2.82347 - log of the Beast
-0.0176416 sine of the Beast
999 the dyslexic Beast
$666/month Rent-a-Beast (for your own private affordable apocalypse!)
666 KiloBeasts should be enough for anybody

Next up, from the "Only in the Philippines" department, we have the members of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center dancing the Hare Hare Yukai dance from the anime series The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

Check out the related links for other songs they've performed.

I'll let it pass, and hold my tongue
reileen: (Default)
As I was playing through a practice mode match on Soul Calibur III as Tira versus Siegfried, I was suddenly struck with a case of the lulz at the possible Freudian implications of the fight.

TIRA: Tiny, frail, cute girl, who fights with a big serrated ring.
SIEGFRIED: Big, armored girly man, who fights with a big semi-serrated sword.

Use your imaginations and get back to me in the morning.


One way to get destructive, depressing thoughts out of your head: heavy reading that will kill your brain cells ded. ("Heavy" is, of course, relative to each person.)

I've got them in my garden now and you're not welcome here
reileen: (Default)
Check out the concept of fractal wrongness:

The state of being wrong at every conceivable scale of resolution. That is, from a distance, a fractally wrong person's worldview is incorrect; and furthermore, if you zoom in on any small part of that person's worldview, that part is just as wrong as the whole worldview.

Debating with a person who is fractally wrong leads to infinite regress, as every refutation you make of that person's opinions will lead to a rejoinder, full of half-truths, leaps of logic, and outright lies, that requires just as much refutation to debunk as the first one. It is as impossible to convince a fractally wrong person of anything as it is to walk around the edge of the Mandelbrot set in finite time.

If you ever get embroiled in a discussion with a fractally wrong person on the Internet--in mailing lists, newsgroups, or website forums--your best bet is to say your piece once and ignore any replies, thus saving yourself time.


I finished reading Mommy Millionaire by Kim Lavine and I'm about halfway through How to Start a Home-Based Craft Business by Kenn Oberrecht. I, um. Wow. It's a good thing I'm at least starting to read about these things somewhat early, because about 75% of the things I was reading about (the paperwork, the people you have to deal with, the money you need to get) sort of made me want to curl up in a corner and die. I'll have to take notes later, but not this week because I've got to help out with cleaning and such for my brother's high school graduation party.

it ain't my fault, it ain't my call
reileen: (general - strawberry)
From Whatever, we've got an interesting picture of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama...

Sorry for the lack of substantive updates. I haven't really felt like posting anything, and...there's not much in my life to talk about at the moment. Not much that's not emo, that is.

and you're pointing your finger when there's no one around
reileen: (Default)
From MSNBC: Museum displays big and small family jewels

HUSAVIK, Iceland - Sigurdur Hjartarson is missing a human penis. But he's not worried: four men have promised to donate theirs to him when they die.

Hjartarson is founder and owner of the Icelandic Phallological Museum, which offers visitors from around the world a close-up look at the long and the short of the male reproductive organ.

His collection, which began in 1974 with a single bull's penis that looked something like a riding crop, now boasts 261 preserved members from 90 species.

The article describes the museum as "part science lab, part trophy room." Trophy room, eh? Here's what I want to know - is there a day where people decorate the mounted cocks with sunglasses, paper streamers, and party hats? Because that would be pretty loltastic.

Also, this museum would make a pretty...interesting...set for a porno movie.

ACEN tomorrow!

so put your hands down my pants, and I bet you'll feel nuts
reileen: (Default)
(First read on Making Light. Also on Firedoglake.)

In response to Obama's overwhelmingly popular platform of change, the National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC) unveiled its new campaign slogan: "The Change You Deserve."

Barring all semantic issues with the phrase (ranging from images of fat cats tossing a nickel to a homeless person begging for change to the illogic of "wait, but your party's incumbent right now, so...?" and other such exercises of morbid imaginations), it's also problematic because the phrase is already being used to market the antidepressant Effexor:

The Change You Deserve™

Are these symptoms of depression interfering with your life?

  • Not involved with family and friends the way you used to be?
  • Low energy, fatigue?
  • Not motivated to do the things you once looked forward to doing?
  • Not feeling as good as you used to?

Not exactly inspiring, is it? Especially when you consider that the drug's been under a Black Box Warning for promoting suicidal tendencies since (oh, the irony) 2004.

there's no escaping because my fate is horror and doom
reileen: (music - proofread score)
Yahoo!TV: Ramiele Malubay is axed from American Idol.

Well, it was nice while it lasted, but it looks like Malubay wasn't able to get her act together to wow the crowd. C'est la vie...

In more amusing news: Super Smash Brothers Brawl, in the style of the Hellsing manga. OH MY GODS, THAT KIRBY WILL HAUNT MY DREAMS FOREVER and that Pikachu is lolariously manly

Finished major work on "Between the Lines." I know this because even despite my usual aikido-style wrist-stretching exercises that I do nearly every day that have allowed me to bend my wrists and fingers in slightly oddtastic ways, I have still ended up with sore wrists. REST TIEMZ NAO. On the other hand, both [ profile] vyctori and [ profile] dantaron have given the song favorable reviews, so the sore wrists are totally worth it. And hey, I composed a song in less than two weeks. Not bad for someone with my lack of experience in songwriting.

Additionally, I fixed the middle transition part of "Triskaidekaphobia" so that it sounds marginally more interesting.

why am I walking barefoot upon this road with no one around
reileen: (Default)
Interesting things have happened in the past few days, little coincidences that have further proved to me that it's time to get out of my shell and start doing things to get my life back in order. Not that I needed any more proof, but sometimes life just likes to indulge in a little lasersharking, yanno?

(Whoever is up there kicking me in the ass is also probably using these boots to do it.)

The one coincidence I feel comfortable talking about here is going to the thrift store again today and finding Letters to a Young Artists: Straight-Up Advice on Making a Life in the Arts - For Actors, Performers, Writers, and Artists of Every Kind by Anna Deavere Smith. This is the second time I've found something eerily relevant to my situation/interests in the throwaway chaos of the thrift store, the first time being that I found Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties. It's things like this that keep me coming back for more. (That, and the fact that paperbacks are $0.25 and hardbacks are $0.50. I mean, come on. Combined with the glory of Amazon, eBay, and [ profile] garagesalejapan, I'll almost never pay full price for a book again.)

For some reason, the cashier asked me how old I was. I told her I was 20-going-on-21. She gave me the O_O look and said that she thought I was still in high school.

"Really?" she exclaimed. "You're that old?"

That really didn't make me feel better about my perceived place in life.* But it was amusing. It wouldn't be the first time this has happened, either: one of the cafeteria workers in my dorm this academic year thought I was fifteen, and was thusly very confused when he saw me walking around in the dorm cafeteria. I don't mind the fact that I look (and dress! ...and act!) young, and certainly it'll serve me well as I get older (provided that my myriad other unhealthy habits don't age me prematurely), but I just have to watch out for the lolicons.

After the thrift store outing, I did grocery shopping at Dominick's and then visited a local beauty supply store to pick up supplies for when I finally get around to bleaching my hair and then dying it at home.


My mother just called my cell phone from our house phone in order to tell me to do the dishes. That probably says something about our level of communication in this house.


I think I'm also going to gave in and upgrade to a Plus account. I want moar icons, and there's a Gintoki moodtheme I want to put up. (I use AdBlock and Ad Butler - I think that's the name - to get rid of LJ's fugly ads. \o/)

I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign

*To be fair, I was wearing my orange Hello Kitty "Being this cute is exhausting!" T-shirt with jeans and a brown sweater duster, and my hair was hanging loose with only two rainbow-colored clips to hold it back.
reileen: (Default)
...was apparently yesterday, according to John Scalzi. Wish I'd remembered to check Scalzi's blog earlier, otherwise I would have participated because made-up words are fun as hell. The only one I can personally recall from my own life is "sunderstorm," courtesy of [ profile] aerithzstrife who used it to describe a ragingly beautiful thunderstorm that was going on with the bright afternoon sun still clear in sight. That was a lovely experience, although I felt bad for Tony because he was the one who had to drive the both of us around.

Anyway, for those of you too lazy to check the actual blog entry, I've gleaned some of my favorites from there.

straternization - Hanging out socially with people not because you like them, but for their strategic benefits (i.e., helping you get ahead in work, getting you closer to that cute young thing, raising your social status in the lunchroom, etc). Usually doesn’t work nearly as well as people hope.

multifacetious - Shallow on many different levels.

obliterify - The act of obliterating something with such extreme prejudice that it becomes a liquid.

laconometry - The branch of science that analyzes things forgotten (from “lacunae” - latin for “gap”). [I just found this one particularly interesting.]

lazifficient - A lazifficient individual has determined the most time-efficient way possible to perform work-related tasks, not because of any desire to be efficient and productive, but because sheer laziness makes him or her unwilling to spend any more time than necessary working. [This describes one of my characters to a brilliant neon-flashing T.]

pubris - overweening pride related to your crotch, or “overweening weenie."

disfleculate - To repel spittle or mucus that is a result of someone sneezing on you or towards you.

snyphilis - The red irritation of the skin around the nostrils due to blowing one’s nose too frequently.

everybody's talkin' 'bout blowin' up the neighborhood
reileen: (general - strawberry)
Buttlord GT is one of those things that I feel like I shouldn't like...but I love this thing to death anyway. I'm on my third or fourth re-read right now, and I'm still giggling like an immature school boy at all the penis and gay jokes. I think I can overlook it because it's a parody of Dragonball Z, and, well. Yeah.

"I would be spanking my own ass in defiance if I could reach it!"

give it to me, baby
reileen: (general - strawberry)
The best answer I've heard yet to the "Is Sheik a guy or a girl?" wanking debate:

I tend to think that Link knows [that Zelda can turn into a guy] and just doesn't care, personally. What better way to have both a boyfriend and a girlfriend while still remaining monogamous? Go Link! -puipui on JournalFen

I think I actually read a Mario/Zelda crossover fic aaaaages ago in the Pit of Voles in which Link was romantically involved with Zelda, both with Zelda being female and then turning into male Sheik. It was a pretty interesting dynamic.

*insert usual Ranma 1/2 jokes here, with a side of Sailor Moon reference*

EDIT: The original JournalFen post can be found here, because there have been far too many responses made of win for me to quote them all in this entry. :D

sugar and spice and everything nice wasn't meant for only girls
reileen: (Default)
From fandom_lounge on JournalFen: For the Zelda junkies who like to abuse the "name your character" function a little more creatively than "poopyhead"!

The post is specifically about the Zelda games, but it really applies to any game you can name your character in. The way it works is that you name Link or your character "I say" so that everyone else sounds like Foghorn Leghorn, or "Sup" so that everyone sounds like frat or surfer boys, or (from the comments) "Bitch" so that everyone else is your pimp.

I can predict that I'm going to be having much fun with this once I get back to playing video games.

he said, go where you have to, for I belong to you
reileen: (general - strawberry)
[ profile] aerithzstrife: i hope i didn't put too much pressure on you with a due date
[ profile] reileen: No, no, you've at least given me ample time to, prepare.
[ profile] aerithzstrife: hehe
[ profile] reileen: 8D
[ profile] aerithzstrife: i believes in joo
[ profile] aerithzstrife: i guess you could call me jooish XD
[ profile] aerithzstrife: *bad joke*
[ profile] reileen: XDDDD
[ profile] reileen: WOW.

let me ly in your snow angels
reileen: (Default)
Tió de Nadal

The Tió de Nadal (roughly "Christmas log"), also known as "Tió" or "Tronca" ("log") and popularly called "Caga tió" (poop log in English), is a mythological character in Catalan mythology relating to a Christmas tradition widespread in Catalonia. A similar tradition exists in other places such as the cachafuòc or soc de Nadal in Occitania, or the Tizón de Nadal or Tronca de Nabidá in Aragon.

The form of the tió de Nadal found in many Catalan homes during the holiday season is a hollow log of about thirty centimetres length, typically standing up on two or four little stick legs with a broad smiling face painted on the higher of the two ends, enhanced by a little red sock hat (a miniature of the traditional Catalan barretina) and often a three-dimensional nose.

Beginning with the Feast of the Immaculate Conception (December 8), one gives the tió a little bit to "eat" every night and usually covers him with a little blanket so that he will not be cold at night.

On Christmas day or, depending on the particular household, on Christmas Eve, one puts the tió partly into the fireplace and orders it to "shit" (the fire part of this tradition is no longer as widespread as it once was, since many modern homes do not have a fireplace). To make him "shit", one beats him with sticks, while singing various songs of Tió de Nadal.

The tió does not drop larger objects, as those are brought by the Three Wise Men. It does leave candies, nuts and torrons. Depending on the part of Catalonia, it may also give out dried figs. When nothing is left to "shit", it drops a salt herring, a head of garlic, an onion or "urinates". What comes out of the tió is a communal rather than individual gift, shared by everyone present.

Man, Spencer's could do some really twisted products with this idea...

and you should be killed by an army of little girls
reileen: (Default)
Instead of stand-up comedians, are there any "sit-down" comedians? You know, comedians who are just so funny that you have to sit down when you listen to them?


I start school in two days. I need my textbooks and I have no money and I'm almost over my credit limit and my damn student loan hasn't come in yet and my paycheck from Gamestop won't be posted to my account until Friday and I need my school job back.


Tales of the Abyss is so amazing it's not even funny. Actually, yes, it is, because Colonel Jade Curtiss is the most badass comic relief I've ever seen. (He's also quite sexy, but a big part of his sexiness comes from the 'tude. The 'tude, yo.)

we don't need no thought control
reileen: (Default)
Nutri-Brain - the health bar of choice for undead creatures everywhere!


In preparation for planning out my last two years of college, I asked my Japanese professor tonight about any study abroad programs in Japan that DePaul was offering during next summer.

Her answer was essentially, if I'm parsing her broken English correctly: "I'll try to send you to the most difficult university in Japan! :D"


reileen: (Default)
When I was really little, like maybe around 3-5 years old, I distinctly remember reading through the child care books and magazines that were lying around my house numerous times.*

Contrast this with the fact that all throughout my life, I have had no real desire to be a mother.**

papa, oh papa tonight/papa, oh I'll be all right

*This was in addition to the children's books and medical reference books that lined the shelves of my family's one-story apartment space on 3701 W. 79th St.
**In a similar vein, I also don't think I ever asked my parents where babies came from. Either I found out on my own through my reading (very likely), or I simply never thought to ask because after all, who'd ever want to have those little monsters? [/tongue-in-cheek]


reileen: (Default)
Reileen van Kaile

April 2010



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