#225 - IT'S SOMEONE'S SPECIAL DAY TODAY. :D

Happy birthday to Vienna Teng! As if anyone who's followed this journal for any amount of time doesn't know who this woman is by now.

To celebrate, I present this little ditty, which I think I yoinked off a forum I used to go to ages ago.

The Viking Birthday Song, sung to the tune of “The Volga Boatmen”

Now you are the age you are.
Your demise cannot be far.
May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake.

Burn the castle and storm the keep.
Kill the women but SAVE THE SHEEP!
May your deeds with sheep and yaks
Equal those with sword and axe.

Your servants steal, your wife’s untrue,
Your children plot to murder you.
They stole your gold, your sword, your house.
They stole your sheep, but not your spouse!

So you’re thirty years old again?
Don’t tell lies to your good friend.
So another year has passed.
Don’t look now, they’re gaining fast!

Black Death has just struck your town!
You yourself feel quite run-down.
We brought linen, white as a cloud,
Now we’ll sit and sew your shroud!

So far death you have bypassed.
Don’t look back, it’s gaining fast!
I’m a leper, can’t you see?
Have a birthday kiss from me!

Burn then rape by firelight.
Add romance to life tonight!
Birthdays come but once a year,
Marking time as Death draws near.

Now you’ve lived another year,
And your death is drawing near.
Raise your cup of bitter cheer,
Make the barman eat his ear.

Fear and gloom and darkness but
No one found out “you-know-what”!
You’re a period cook, it’s true!
Ask the beetles in the stew!

Now your jail-bait days are done.
Let’s go out and have some fun!
Were I sitting in your shoes,
I’d go out and sing the blues.

Now you’ve lived another year.
Age to you is like stale beer.
Long ago, your hair turned grey.
Now it’s falling out, they say.

It’s your birthday, never fear!
You’ll be dead this time next year!
See the wrinkles on your face,
Like the pattern of fine lace.

Indigestion’s what you get
From the enemies you ‘et.
This one lesson you must learn:
FIRST you pillage, THEN you burn!

While you eat your birthday stew,
We will sack a town for you!
Death will come before the dawn.
Now’s the time to party on!

-Reileen
a decade and one, I said out loud